The Message - Book One

     October 30, 1982

     Most people begin their books with an introduction – I begin with a beginning...  I have discovered that it is the easiest way to do things – To Begin. 

     This beginning took place on a Saturday morning as close to 9:00 AM as I can make it in this moment for it is now 5 minutes after.  It is the day after my husband Lou’s 55th Birthday.  He was born 10/29/1927. 

     Today is 10/30/1982.  It is a glorious day for me.  I am beginning this book – One that has been waiting for me for some time.  It has not been easy for me to speak – To express myself verbally in a room full of people – For some reason – I am overcome by the combined mind effect that goes on in a room full of people – and yes, I can do it – And it is not easy for me. 

     I have done it and have come away with a feeling of incompleteness – And I do not know why.  Perhaps because I have so much to share and I can never be assured that I will have the exact same group of people together again.  Somehow – I have not experienced the perfection of the moment – How each will hear exactly what each is open and ready to hear – And each will fill in the blank spaces individually as it can only be.  There is no other way. 

     And yes, Doris Roberts wants to fully imprint them and send each away complete with all the answers and knowing for certain and having the experience of who each is. 

     Otherwise known as a BIG DEAL!  Ha!  This is just another example of me being full of significance.  It surely is a game I began playing as a small child – Like – What are you going to be when you grow up, Little Girl?  Significant!  What I do is going to make a difference and change the way the world is – Because the world is all twisted backwards – And I am the one who’s going to set it on the Right Track, taking the Right Direction!

     And so, it is no wonder that I have come to where I am today…  Among significant people who are making a difference.  Where? – I am not certain – What? – I do not know… 

     And so I begin.

     The Beginning began for me in this lifetime on August 29, 1933, and today being like no other is a glorious day.

     And so it is.

     My oldest daughter, Wendy is 30 in this year of 1982, and a brilliant light in my life.  She gave me a notepad yesterday on her Father’s 55th Birthday and on the top of each page is that quotation above.  After I finished reading it, I laughed with open and full delight!  I had regained my sense of humor lost a long time ago.  And I didn’t know that until I laughed with her and gave up (again) the significant position I am continually striving for this lifetime.  It appears as if I am determined not to learn that lesson.  Why not?  What on earth is my payoff?

     I have the awareness of knowing that a conscious idea or thought fully experienced in the body – Creates the manifestation thereof – The magnetic field that surrounds my body attracts to it that which is its truth.  Water seeks its own level.  It has no choice.

     We are a bit better than water in that we have a personal mind that can direct the water or spirit of our body.  This is cause and being fully aware that I am cause.

     And so, I ask myself since I am all wise and all knowing (Ha!), what is my payoff being significant?  There must be some real goodies there, since I kept giving it up and it creeps in on me and sets well with me until actual body pain tells me – I am at IT again. 

     It is not so easy to get off my significant position.  On many occasions, I have had to do some drastic measures.  Why do I cling to this condition when I know what will happen and what it does to me?

     I know, right now I make it very wrong to be significant.  I cannot stand significant people, places or things – They are not real to me.

     Significance is giving self blown-up importance which I do all the time to offset my tendency to belittle myself.  It is a balancing agent on The Scales of Life – I am willing to let go of being significant.  And replace it with Love Always.

     It is now March 4, 1983 on a Friday evening at 9:45 PM, San Diego time.

     Earlier on February 27, 1983, Sunday to be exact – I began experiencing much physical pain – And I knew without knowing I was into significance again – More than I have every experienced before.  The pain was excruciating – And I knew not why…

     Is it that little self-belittling me again?  I look around me and what do I see? – Great Significant People!   Right in It!  And Right on it!   I can only see where I am at ~ I am right in it – I have zeroed in on significance like a sucking South wind! 

     If I struggle to get out of this ~ I will be caught up surely ~ And so I breathe deeply and suffer the pain.  It must run its course.

     Right now I have the realization of how to get over this significance ~ And that is to accept that it is so – To stop resisting it like the plague – Because for sure, it attacks me like a plague!         And so – I acknowledge that I am the most significant person I know – There is no one more significant than I am!

     As Brad Fuller said on March 3, 1983 in his home at Huntington Beach,  

 But they are really clear about what’s going on with everyone else –  And how to fix it!

     Only two days from this day will be Wendy’s 31st Birthday.  I began this chapter  with her gift to her father.   I am ending it with her gift to me – Her joy and laughter with Life!

     Happy Birthday, Wendy!

Today, July 6, 1987

      Over four years has passed since I last wrote in this book.  And much has happened. 

      On 5 October 1985, I left San Diego and my husband.  It was a big step for me.  One I had been putting off for quite a while.

      The door opened for me in March of 1985, when I was at a friend’s graduation from a Rebirther Course.  On the way there (I drove) she talked of Ramtha (Ram) – a 35,000 year old entity who was being channeled by a beautiful blond woman in Spokane, Washington.  My friend shared if I get a chance to see the video tape of Ramtha made in Hawaii, to do it.

      Marcia and I did see the video ~ and I was also in church.  The Sunday Reverend Terry “fired” herself (how appropriate!) and she gave the Ram credit.  I can understand why – that energy is as the wind.  It moves you to know who & what you truly are – also to take responsibility for yourself – your actions – your creations, and your happiness.  All this, of course I knew – but I lacked the courage to begin again.  When I realized I was dying – I had no choice – I chose to live!

      I went to the Ramtha Intensive seminar on May 17, 18, & 19 1985 – I have the audio tapes I listened to for 4 months before I found a way to leave – I wanted to finish rewriting my book on the Ivanhoe Word Processer, which I did.  My son, Craig, helped me come to Hawaii and begin again.  For the next 2 years I learned to love myself, and discovered who I truly am.

      The old image I had of myself was truly significant!  I did an ‘Image Process’ in June and it came to the surface again – and it’s mate – ‘Insignificant’ was right there with it – the dualism that was so much a part of my belief system.  Immediately I found myself a new image which is Master – Master Teacher – Master of the Inner Self.

      It was in 1972 that I put myself on this path to discover me – and it only took me 15 years to uncover the beautiful shiny light that I am!  I ran away from that which I was – now I am accepting all that I am – with love, with grace, and with grateful Thanks to the Lord God of My Being ~ I love you dearly.

      Responsibility is not a blame thing – it is taking charge of your future – And the future of your world – And so I have!  What wonderful JOY!

      I miss my girls – And grandchildren – But all is great for me.  Soon I begin my Master Training – The first of August is my target date – All the energies of the Christ Consciousness is being directed through a vortex over Diamond Head.  I am ready – or almost.  This month I am preparing for all the good that I am.  The totality of my being is directing the way.

And so it is…(7/6/87 at 54 years old)...